Wednesday, December 27, 2006, Episode 4964

In the Forrester CEO's office, Jackie threatens to call security unless Stephanie leaves now. Jackie suddenly gets one of her headaches; Stephanie laughs and asks if this is the part where Jackie conveniently feels some pain and then blames her for it. Jackie sarcastically retorts that Taylor seems to have worked wonders with Stephanie. Stephanie asks if Jackie is is worried about something; "You're probably worried that Taylor's going to figure everything out about you and Nick," she guesses. Jackie points out that Stephanie already lost her company and has no one to blame but herself. Stephanie guesses that Jackie must be worried that Nick is going to find out what everyone else already knows, that Jackie is just a slut! Jackie swings back to slap Stephanie, who catches Jackie's hand and taunts, "Touchy, touchy."

Nick fumes at his memories of Captain Kramer.

On the Shady Marlin, Nick remembers how the sailors he hung with used to bring him gifts when they came to his home, and then they would joke about their whores. And his mother was one of those whores! He asks Taylor if he is truly remembering this right. Taylor replies that a prior suggestion from a therapist can trigger a false memory and asks Nick if he thinks she did that. Nick responds that he doesn't think so and wonders why he's just remembering this now. Taylor explains that he was a child who loved his mother. His love for Jackie blocked out the memories so he wouldn't have to shame his own mother. She wonders if this is the reason why he seldom gives someone a second chance when they make a mistake. Nick sees nothing wrong with wanting to be around decent people; in fact, that's why he he left home as soon as he turned 16 on the first ship that would take him. She asks if it was Captain Kramer's ship. Nick takes a knife off the wall and removes it from its scabbard, explaining that Kramer gave him this so he could dream of being a pirate. He tells Taylor that he swore to take this knife if he ever saw Kramer again and give it back to him - right between his ribs! Taylor tells Nick not to blame himself and asks how Jackie reacted to his leaving/ He recalls that his mother drank a lot a night, so he couldn't even get her attention at first. Then, when he finally told her what he was doing, she asked why he had to be one of those sailors. He told her that he just wanted the quickest way away from Seattle he could find.

Taylor tries to help Nick cope with his rediscovered memories.

Taylor asks Nick if he wanted to be a sailor because he saw all those sea captains with Jackie, and he hoped she'd love him the same way if he became one of them. Nick says that he knew his mother loved him. Besides, he didn't want to be one of them. He wanted to be the one giving them orders. And so he did, Taylor asserts, linking that action to his need to have power. Everyone wants power, Nick argues, suggesting that Taylor is lying if she thinks otherwise. Taylor asks if he visited Jackie when he was on shore leave. Nick explains that they had an understanding; he would send money every chance he got, but he would never go back, although he never understood why until today. He recalls how he used to collect bottles to claim their deposits when he was younger, even though he only got a mere two cent return on each one. But when Jackie saw him doing that, she told him to stop; she used to tell him, "We still have our pride." But then one day, she stopped saying that. Taylor tells Nick she's sorry; she knows it hurt to confront these memories, but at least he can use this knowledge to change himself now that he remembers. Nick guesses that it's better to know the truth, even if he doesn't know what to do with it. Taylor asks if this helps him see himself in a new light, maybe by showing him why he's so overprotective of the women in his life, Nick tells her he only knows one thing: that it's nice to know that she cares about him.

After Taylor leaves, Jackie stops by the Marlin. She's glad to have some time alone with her son, since they need to talk about their problems motivating Clarke and getting their new business on track. That can wait, Nick responds. Jackie senses something off with Nick and asks just what he and Taylor talked about. She worries that these silly therapy sessions are giving the Forresters just what they want by distracting him from crises at Forrester Creations that require his attention. She's sure the Forresters would love to see him fail. Nick suggests that seeing failure makes you want to look the other way. But no one has failed, Jackie states, and no one WILL fail if they get back to work now. Speaking of work, Nick recalls the days when she couldn't find work when he was a boy. He brings up the deposit bottles he used to collect and asks Jackie why she thought his doing that was beneath them. She supposes her upbringing instilled too much pride in her to do something so menial. She then wonders why he's bringing this up; she asks if Taylor is blaming her for warping his life by telling him not to collect dirty discarded bottles. No, he replies. Then what is this about? Jackie asks. Nick asks why it was so wrong to collect the bottles. Jackie replies that he was her son, and it was her responsibility to support them; that's why she didn't want him wasting his time with a few measly pennies per bottle.

Jackie can't understand why Nick keeps bringing up Captain Kramer.

Nick asks Jackie if she pawned the pearls Captain Kramer gave her. She says she did, so Nick wishes he could have given her more to pawn. Jackie suggests that they get back to work, but Nick doesn't want to go back to the office. He wants to talk about Capt. Kramer. Jackie says that Kramer was his friend, not hers, but Nick demands that she tell him about Kramer. She remembers that Kramer was good to him and wanted to help them out. As did his friend Captain May, Nick points out. Jackie says that she appreciated their interest in him, although their talks about how much her "Nicky" had grown grew dull after a while. Nick suggests that the captains were there for something other than the conversation. Growing uncomfortable with where this is going, Jackie asks Nick to stop, but he wants the answer to his question. What question? Jackie asks. Nick asks her why he left. Jackie says that he was ambitious, and he was ready to move on. Nick doesn't buy that answer. He accuses her of not being able to deal with it when he was a boy, but he wants her to say it now. He tells her not to make him accuse her, because anything she can say to him now has got to be better than the word he's holding back!

Taylor returns to her office to record her notes on her latest session with Nick. Noting the date - December 27, the actual date the episode airs - she speaks into her recorder that Nick had a breakthrough, but she fears this may be his last session due to his ambivalence about therapy. She explains how Nick understood what he saw as a boy, and it drove him to leave home at 16 and start working his way up through the merchant fleet. She suggests that Nick allowed his memories of this Captain Jerry Kramer and the other Sea Captains to become a selective amnesia, like innocent memories, and he constructed a childhood fantasy that he was this little boy who had been befriended by these men that he looked up to. Doing so allowed him to reconcile the love and respect he had for his mother once he discovered that Jackie was accepting money from those men for sex.